Surviving the Summer Splurge: Smart Budgeting Tips and Overcoming Financial Anxiety

Welcome back to ADHD Money Talk, the show that helps dynamic but distracted ADHD brains take back control over their money in order to stress less, live a more enriching life and open up new and amazing possibilities. And I am your humble and very ADHD host, dave Duit. Today's episode is going to be me just talking because I haven't done an episode in a little while, but I don't really have anything planned or prepared. So what's on my mind? Well, it's coming in the summer and that's a very expensive time. I've already noticed in my own budget that I said it and I'm thinking, oh, my goodness, this is so good, this is prepared, this is great, but in the summer, for me at least. Maybe it's a different season for you where this happens, but there's just little things that come up, Like just the little things that come up. And so, like, what little things has come up for me recently? A little thing that's come up for me is that we're members at the why And, first of all, this is something that we should have canceled a while ago, because we're only getting it for the summer, because we only use the pool. We don't go at all during the year, but we pay for it. So that's stupid on my part. But we keep telling ourselves we will use it, but we don't. But what comes up is the pool this year, because it was overcrowded last year. There's a $300 family pool fee now. So we went to the pool with our daughter and we were ready to go in and they were like, nope, can't come in until you get the pool pass. And they were like alright, get in the pool pass. So we got that for $300. Well, there's $300 onto my budget that I don't know where that's going to come from. Well, i mean, i know where it'll come from. It'll come from the money that I was planning to save, but now I'm saving less because of that And it's like, ah, darn it. And then we brought our friends there yesterday because they have a little, you know, an 18 month old baby, and we wanted to have them get a chance to check it out. It's a nice. It's a nice Y. So it's a great Y, a great big pool with slides and the beach style, ocean style sort of pool. But it's like 12 bucks a person for a guest. So that's 12 bucks times 3, that's 36 bucks, boom. So that's 336 on the Y right there. And then, while we're at the Y, they have food there. You know, i told myself yesterday I'm sticking to my plan, i'll go home and make a salad while we're done, whatever. But then because everybody else was getting food and our friends were going to get food, you know it's like you know that's tough to tough situation. So I got food, we got food, so that's more money. So I'm up to like $370. You know that I didn't initially plan for this month onto the budget at all. I mean there is a budget for food and stuff so I mean that could work out still. But you know it's just a thing, i'm a yo-yo dieter. I'm trying to stop that, but I'm currently at not a happy place. So I'm trying to be healthier and that means the food gets more expensive. It means I'm looking for like gluten free options, i'm looking for healthy replacements for stuff and that means more money. So I'm going to be spending more money on food. So things just get expensive. And then on top of that, you know, our freezer has a broken ice machine. It's been that way for a long time. I've been delaying getting a new fridge. We have food trapped in the top drawer of our freezer, so there's all this food in there that's been trapped for like 6 months and I just it used to be that I would just the old me, would have just immediately put out my credit card and bought a fridge and said I'll just, i'll figure it out later. Like I am so different now I just do not do that. I've been saving money into separate accounts. I have an account that's dedicated for large expenses. That it's basically whatever large expense I'm saving for at the moment. So right now it's a new dishwasher, because our dishwasher has an issue where when my daughter was little, she would chew on this part of it. It's like this weird rubbery stuff. And now that's, i guess, accelerated the deterioration of this rubber stuff. And now every time we wash dishes this rubber stuff is like molded onto our dishes. So I have to like rewash them with my hands and it's terrible. So like I need a new dishwasher, i need a new fridge. They're both pretty old and I have money saved for them And then I got my. Alright, i'm gonna finally pull the trigger on the dishwasher, first because I think that's for me that's more important, because they still have the freezer, the fridge still works, dishwasher you know It's a lot of extra work for me and I do the dishes at home, so I do not like I hate doing the dishes. I've gotten used to it by listening to like 21 pilots of that band while I do them. And, by the way, i've been listening to 21 pilots, only 21 pilots, like only that band, for about three months now. It's all I listen to. It's been feeding my soul in a way I can't explain. Usually I do that thing where I listen to the same song or the same band for a long time Never been three months of it, though This is the longest ever. But anyways, i've gotten used to doing the dishes just by putting them music on and jamming out while I do them. But I hate having to like look at the dirty stuff and clean it just like ug ug. So definitely when the dishwasher solves like alright, i don't know how much longer we want to stay in this home, this house. We want to have a larger ish family. Right, we have a two and a half year old and we have another child on the way and I want more after that, because I've, i really love being at that and I know those people out there that are like Don't want to bring a child into this crazy world. I think to myself I'm in control of how my child is raised. I'm in control of how my child will perceive things to a certain extent, because I get to mold them and raise them to be a good human. I'm not as worried about that kind of stuff because I just not, because I think my kids I'm just, i just love being a dad. So maybe it's selfish that I'm having kids, but I'm gonna make them be strong and loved and See that evil in the world but also recognize the good and all that stuff. Anyways, it's what happens. I just talk, i just go wherever. So, yeah, i don't know how long I want to stay in this home because I want more kids And I only have a three bedroom house right now, just which is great. I mean don't get me wrong, i'm fortunate. I'm lucky to have a home, to have been able to buy a home, just so you guys know I did not. I did. I put 20% down on my home. But it wasn't, it was, it was money that was well, i had it inherited. So I did it like save up when I was 27 years old for a home, like that did not happen. I was not financially responsible when I bought this house. Now I'm financially responsible. I was not financially responsible when I bought this house. As you may have her from my earlier Make, like the first episode pretty much, when I kind of go through the Beepstorm that I went through. So I'm not gonna buy like like yeah, of course I go and I see like the best dishwasher is like the Bosch, the Bosch is the Bosch 1000, whatever they're like 1200 bucks, so I don't need the best dishwasher for a house. I'm not gonna stay in that long necessarily. I mean, you know, i will probably want to move upgrade in a couple years, three years, four years, whenever Once we just really can't fit. If you have like four kids, well, like we can fit with four kids, you have kids share. But you know, this is part of why I love. I've now fallen in love with being responsible with my money, because now I have developed the muscle of control of like I Will achieve this thing if I just do that, if I budget responsibly and I save, i will be able to get the bigger house And be able to transfer equity and have 20% down and still manage my payment and all this stuff and beard, you know I can control. I get to save money for my daughter and my kids, for their college and for whatever I get to do that and provide that for them and the joy and the good feeling that gives me is Key to me. It's key That's become my drive. It's really supported my family. So for anyone out there who wants a hack to getting good at money quicker, have kids that's, that's what I'll say. But um, i'm still talking about the dishwasher here. So I can't get that dishwasher, i'm not going to. So I looked for, i'm looking for like a middle of the road one. I don't want the cheapest one, that's gonna just be a headache or break or whatever, but I don't want them as expensive one. So I found like a Maytag, like $700 one, great, and I have like $1200 saved for dishwasher into the fridge. I need to have a little bit more. I think I go to like check out, i'm gonna put the dishwasher on my credit card and immediately then go to my credit card and submit an equal payment to pay it off immediately from the savings, like transfer the savings to the checking and then do it. But then installation is like 250 and that installation being 250 stopped me. I was unable to pull the trigger. Like I said before, i would have pulled the trigger months ago if it was the old me. But even that 250 made me stop. I'm like I'm gonna save more because I don't want to go through my entire little savings right now. I want to wait maybe a week till I have enough for the fridge, and so I'm just. I've developed that muscle to be able to say no, to be able to wait, to be patient, and that's really important. It took me a long time to figure that out. And yeah, so summer is expensive for me. There's always like ancillary expenses. You know we're going to be going on trips. I have a trip coming up in July which I pre-saved a lot of money for it already, but I need to do a little bit more. I guess now that I'm like very cautious about my money and I'm very like I track very closely, i just I get this. you know, my anxiety has kind of switched from like how it used to be when it was like I am in so much debt. I'm in such a how am I going to get out of this? My income is not increasing like I thought I would. Yada, yada, yada. Now my anxiety is I don't think I'm going to be able to save as much as I wanted to, but I know I'm going to be able to save money, just not as much as I maybe wanted to, which is a much better anxiety to have, and I'll always find a way to have anxiety because I have anxiety. So that's very much the comorbidity with my ADHD. I believe my ADHD caused my anxiety from just a treacherously difficult childhood. Not difficult in the sense that I had those parented poorly or I didn't have friends or whatever, but it's just treacherous in the sense that just constantly invalidated and constantly being made to feel stupid, i mean that's the worst. I mean that's why I'm like a perfectionist, that's why I'm all these kinds of things that that are frustrating. Like when I'm trying to like, do my job. It's very hard because I'm trying to help people and I'm trying to be perfect, i'm trying to build the perfect plan and make it perfectly formatted and do all, and it just drives me insane. I'm like, why are you doing this? It's fine, just make it simple, keep it simple, stupid. But I could say keep it simple, stupid a thousand times in my head, but I still won't make it simple. So I'm working on that. My philosophy on budgeting categories has changed quite a bit. I used to be an advocate for keep just a few budget categories, just big buckets, just so make it not too complicated. I'm now much more granular and that's been very helpful for me because, first of all, i'm using Monarch money now, which I talked about in the last episode. The rule setting is much better on this, so I can be granular but I don't have to make it the extra work. I'm one of those people that thinks that this is probably like narcissistic thing or something. I don't know. Dave stops saying that, um, but I think that if I think it's exciting, i think other people should think it's exciting. But it's not how it goes. Like I think things are exciting, other people think are deadly boring. But what excites me is What's motivating to me to use a lot of categories now is I'm just looking forward to like three years down the road and I can look back and just see exactly how much I spent on a granular category, just to see. I just want to see that and know that. But I want to feel good when I see that And this is the key to actually wanting to look at your budget And bar none. This is the key I'm telling you right now If you stick to the budget, just do it for one month. Just whatever it takes to make yourself do it. Just do the damn thing. Stick to the damn budget. Put all the boundaries up you need. Tell your friends you're not going out this month. Your practice is experimenting with the weaning you know. Dispend, spend less thing. Stick to the budget for one month. Save all that money you can save And look at your budgeting app, whatever you're doing, to tracking and see the progress and the success. And then you're going to get a swelling of relief And, like I, can do this. You just need the confidence to believe that you can do it. So many, i think so much of the problem is we just don't believe that we can do it because we haven't yet. So, just for one month, just stick to it. You know the things you got to do. Just stick to it. And while you're doing that, you're going to want to look at your app. I'm telling you you're in your budgeting app. You're going to want to because you're going to see that you're on track And that's a positive reward, that's a that gives you a positive feedback. When you're not looking at your stuff, it's because you know in the back of your mind you're messing it all up. You know, you, you, you know that you, you made some impulsive purchases and you don't even want to see how that's affected your progress. So just don't. I know it's like the stupidest thing to say to someone with ADHD is just like, don't do it Just. You just just try harder, but like, but seriously set up the boundaries for one month, for, like, literally cut up your credit cards for a month. You can just order a new one, say it's damaged, just cut them up. Just don't do it. Just do not use them. Whatever it takes, just don't do it for one month. Make aggressive goals, practice being frugal, just just do it. I'm telling you it'll be so worth it. So that's what I'm going to say. So maybe that's really what this episode is about. But yeah, summer's expensive Things come up. So, for those of you that are budgeting, find somewhere where you can pull back even more and then, to make room and add a little bit extra to those sort of mis like not miscellaneous, but like just in general categories just add more to the general categories of that usually come up in summer And then remember, as you're going through the month, you have to be adapting to the budget. So if the month happens to be food, that's the month that summer's causing to be more expensive than you know. As a month goes on, like, make the budget bigger for the food but at the same time, pull it back in other places. That's what I would say to do And yeah, so let's leave it at that. That's my podcast episode for today. There's some good stuff in there. I hope you enjoyed just hearing me talk about whatever's on my mind. That's what's on my mind. This was much easier for me, so I hope you liked it. This is me being a lazy podcasting, but maybe the lazy podcasting is a good thing. Okay, so I hopefully I'll talk to you more frequently because I'm seeing the light at the end of my stressful work tunnel. So we'll talk to you soon.